I can speak only so much for my current manic episode because I am currently on 12.5 mg of seroquel which is a super low dose. Due to the fact that I am taking seroquel I am not feeling all of the effects of my body trying to be in “manic mode”, but because I am on a low dose of meds I still feel plenty of the the symptoms of mania. As usual it is difficult to fall asleep. It is also very difficult to have a sense of peace and well being. I generally feel as though I HAVE to do something and that standing at rest is not an option. Even when the activity that I am doing is supposed to be stationary I do not feel at ease. For example, I will avoid eating a meal because it forces me to sit down and I feel as if I cannot sit still so I will make protein and oatmeal shakes blended in the blender and gulp them down in a single gulp and quickly move on to whatever activity I have myself set on. This week I have been working with wood building things for my chickens such as a new coop and mechanical feeder, and I am sewing a flannel shirt, and I made my friend a multi-level planter box. Ive been happy with my new job and will soon resume studying for my comprehensive test for my Masters degree. There are a lot of fun things going on in my life such as planning for my wedding and looking at buying land a few hours away to build a cabin on and have our wedding ceremony. In the back of my mind I have fear that in the fall/winter my energy will go away and I my mind will have bouts of becoming a barren wasteland of nothingness. I know that I have to talk to my therapist about preparing for my seasonal depression but right now I am having too much fun with my energy. The down side of this manic episode is that I feel irritable which makes me very unpleasant at multiple times throughout the day. I feel unpredictable and sometimes my responses come out from my mouth that I am even shocked by. Like I’ll say something and feel surprised even by myself that I sounded so harsh. I also feel like I am ten steps ahead of people in my personal life and at work and I get impatient in conversations feeling like Ive completed the conversation in my head but the other person is still talking. By the end of the day my mind is not tired but I am tired of my mind and I just want everything to slow down. So I take my low dose of seroquel and quiet my thoughts and get a gnarly case of the munchies as a side effect and eventually fall asleep.